Reflection

There's been many thoughts on my mind regarding this trip, about things I've learnt and experienced. So I'm gonna write a reflection post as a reminder to myself, something to look back and reminisce on. Heads up for long post!

Things I've Learnt

1) Being Marilyn

Throughout this trip, I've had abit of an identity crisis because I was addressed differently at all 3 different places.

In Taiwan Hualien I was sometimes Marilyn sometimes Merlyn sometimes Mary sometimes 小幫手 (little helper).

In Korea Jeju I was Mari 마리 (with the korean accent). This was a name that grew on me because everyone was just "Mari-ahhh~~~" everyday and I became comfortable with Mari.

In Taiwan Taitung I was Mei Mei 妹妹 (little sister) because Nancy & David couldn't pronounce my name and decided it was easier that way.

At first I was losing myself because I couldn't be entirely comfortable and be who I think I am in these foreign environments. 5 months of not speaking Singlish and not having proper fluent conversations. Then one night I finally had the conversation I've been hungry for, to really just talk about deep thoughts and have someone genuinely listening and sharing too.(I had one of these memorable conversations with Shui Lu and Fiona too, but because it happened quite early on in my trip, it made me crave for more further on, which took awhile to come.)

That night Samchon said to me "Mari ah~ 마리~ You know, when you go back to Singapore, you'll return to being Marilyn, but here you'll always be Mari to us. And if you ever need to be Mari 마리, you can always come back." It really struck me in the heart, and these words kept replaying in my head.

Who is Marilyn?

Sometimes when I introduced myself as Marilyn, there's still that little bit of disbelief that I am this person. You know how each of us have different facades and personalities in front of different groups of people? I used to have about about 5 or 6 variations of Marilyn.

But then I realised this trip that it isn't really about the language or the environment you're in that defines who you are, but the way you perceive and handle situations with the principles you believe in and aim to uphold.

If there's anything I got to accomplish this trip is that, despite being addressed differently, I managed to keep myself consistent throughout the trip as a singular Marilyn. And it felt liberating, to just be this one person. What I kept telling myself was "don't have any regrets" and "always be sincere in my interactions". And these 2 "principles" kept me consistent and mentally healthy. If that makes any sense? hahaha

So now that I'm back to being Marilyn, hopefully I can minimise these 5 or 6 personalities I used to have to maybe just 2 or 3. So that "Marilyn" and Mari 마리 are eventually the same person.

2) Checklist

Remember I had a previous post of the checklist that never actually existed? Let me fill it up with the rest of the many "firsts" I've had in this 154 Days. (Continued from point 18)

Counting down to New Years with Michelle in a foreign country with a beer in hand, watching fireworks from close range
Solo train ride to signify start of my solo trip
First hitchhiking experience from Uncle Ah Cao
Going to a Wild Hot Spring only the locals know
Learning Korean from my host
Doing the Mannequin Challenge for Bayhouse
Playing basketball in the rain in a foreign country
Driving in a foreign country!
Sleeping in a treehouse!
Joining the garbage truck queue with the locals
Sitting at the back of the scooter while looking up to see stars
Drinking the first cup of coffee that I actually enjoy
Reunion dinner in a foreign country
Dared to try full nude Hot Spring
Watched fireworks from Extreme Close Range (right above our heads)
Puked in a foreign country
Jamming with a local street Musician
Plane watching from upclose at Songshan Airport
Climbing Yang Ming Shan at night with Crave
Experiencing minus-zero temperatures in Seoul
Finally "meeting" Queen Seonduk
Climbing Ttarabi Oreum with Samchon, Dal, Byul Unnies
Going to an observatory, seeing Venus through telescope
Seeing a wild deer!
Being offered a ride from Cafe Oreum Angelina
First Olle Trail (Course 5) experience with Samchon & Pul Unnie
Tried Soondae (Korean Blood Sausage)
Having a dog (Kachi) guide me up Jimi Oreum
Meeting Seohyung from Olle Trail who gifted me keychain
Had legit firewood BBQ at Byul Unnie Husband's farm while raining
Supper at Pul Unnie's Tangerine farm house
Witnessing Koreans playing Go-stop
Crying while stargazing
Feeding Coshe by myself, he ran out
Walking Coshe by myself, his leash came off
Full-day trip with Samchon, conversations in Korean
Joining Clean Olle Day
Plucking Gosari with Byul and Hyunjung Unnies
Cooking Chilli Crab Pasta for Coshe family
Coshe finally followed me~ (when Samchon went pangsai)
Getting drunk in Korea
Going to Noraebang (karaoke) in Korea
Experiencing mudflats in Korea
Jamming with Tammy, Yihui, Joe in a Beach Hut
Seeing North Korea with my own eyes
Almost getting stuck at Airport counter
Helping to make Bagel
Helping to scoop up dog poop
Caring for a sick dog
Experiencing my first Earthquake
Helping to make persimmon tea leaves
Experiencing infestation of White Ants
Crossing paths with a stranger-turned-friend 4 times

I have this note on my phone which documents my entire trip. So nostalgic to scroll through it just now to find all these points for the checklist :') Thanks for bringing me through memory lane again.

3) Forming Friendships & Building Relationships

I've been very lucky this trip to have met with countless good-hearted people who were genuine in their interactions with me. There's been 3 types of friendships I've formed throughout these 154 Days.

The first is the short-lived kind of encounters. It's not that they are insincere or just surface-talk. These are the kind that you meet these people, chat about life, (maybe) exchange contacts and feel like your day turned out slightly different because of them. But perhaps you just don't see yourself crossing paths with them ever again, so these "friends" sort of fade out despite seeing their updates in your feed once in awhile. And eventually forget about them since they probably hadn't tried to contact you first either.

The second is genuine sparks that occurs between strangers turned friends. Sometimes these conversations flow so smoothly we even forget to introduce ourselves to each other until the very end when we need to part. These are the kind you wished time would stop and let you fully enjoy each other's company without having to worry about the fact that you guys might never meet again. But perhaps for whatever reason, you know deep down it's gonna be difficult to cross paths again, so you slowly distant yourself to let the separation reality sink in. Once in awhile you're reminded of them and perhaps send a message to say hi, have a short conversation about what's up. Then move on. But these people still hold a special spot in your heart.

The third are friendships that blossomed into relationships. So much so that you feel like you want to try all ways to meet this person again no matter how impossible it might be. There's no obligation to keep a conversation going, you send a text message naturally just like talking to actual friends whom you get to meet anytime. Sometimes the conversation might be too long to type out so you'd rather just call or video call them. And it doesn't feel awkward at all, it's as if you guys never parted. Deep down you guys understand and embrace the distant between one another, and it's not a factor in the friendship. Although you'll never know when your paths will cross again, the next time you make a travel plan, you'll subconsciously have them in mind and see if it's possible to meet. And you know someday you just might!

Scrolling through my Line, Facebook, Kakao, Instagram etc... there are many of these people whom I'm glad appeared in my life and exchanged contact. The world is seriously so big yet so small. Feels like eventually everyone will cross path with everyone again someday.

4) Comfort Zone

Travelling means stepping out of my comfort zone. I admit I'm quite immature and am like a small stupid kid sometimes. I've never taken a plane ride on my own before, let alone finding ways to get to destinations in a foreign land. That's why I'm really thankful for Michelle who eased me into it, because of her company for the first week in Taiwan, I learnt how she problem-solved and communicated with strangers.

Was very shy to ask strangers for help, but now I realised that's the best way when you're in doubt. Especially in Taiwan and Korea, people are so kind and nice, they sometimes even go the extra mile to help you. It sort of restores that little faith in humanity too.

Being in countries like Taiwan and Korea means you should also try your best to understand their culture and respect it. When the locals see you making the effort to speak their language or doing activities only they do, sometimes these uncles and aunties will shower you with love you never knew strangers were willing to.

I actually used to worry about many things.
"Oh if I sleep late tonight, I'll be so tired tomorrow"
"What if I fall down the mountain and break my leg?"
"No. I must leave in 10minutes to catch the next bus."
"But the poop is so smelly what if I fall sick breathing it in"

But I learnt to let things happen, instead of restricting them to my own narrow-minded rules (which I've decided to abandon after this trip).

Because really, sometimes beautiful things happen when you least expect it.

5) Guesthouse | Hotel | Hostel Etiquette

This is a topic I've been wanting to share hahaha especially after helping out with housekeeping for the last 5 months. DAYUM so many strange people in this world.

Guys, it's really hard work to clean up a guest room.
Changing bedsheets, doing laundry, washing toilets, vacuuming floors, mopping, rearranging items in the room, clearing up litters, cleaning up food stains, finding missing items, replacing used items etc etc ALL within a few hours for ALL the rooms.

Here are some things you can keep in mind the next time you stay at a foreign accommodation:

Put all used towels together when leaving
Remove pillow case when leaving (even blanket & bedsheets if you're feeling generous)
Put everything back where you found them
Clean up fallen hair (coughgirlscough)
Flush the toilet (please)
Don't wear shoes in if they're not supposed to be worn
Gather all rubbish at the bin (separate recyclable items in Korea & Taiwan)
Don't leave rubbish on your bed
If rules say no food allowed, then NO FOOD (please)
If you secretly eat cause really hungry, please clean up after yourself and throw properly
Return anything you've borrowed from reception or pantry
Check that you've returned the key before leaving
Don't do weird things in the room (please)
If you spoil anything, please let the staff know

One memorable thing that happened was a couple from Hong Kong who stuck a knife (taken from our pantry) into the gaps of the TV holder to hold it at an angle that was incomprehensible, so that the TV doesn't face the bed(?) When they left, they didn't even have the decency to pluck the knife back out and return the TV to its original position. Qianyu had to spend some effort forcing the knife out.

So please be auto and respect these spaces. Your small actions really can make someone else's life better :)

Okay! That's it! Sorry for the long post! hahaha

These are the things I want to share and hope to remind myself many years from now.

I'm still in a state of post-trip excitement, so pardon me if I go on and on about stories when you meet me. I'll try to control myself.

There's also this strange feeling as if I've time-travelled through 5 months. Everyone and everything else seemed to have moved on without me. But still feels good to be back!

And always. Thank you thank youuuuuu for even spending time to read this and sending me messages. Sometimes it felt lonely being alone but receiving messages from you guys really made my day better. So THANK YOU~

Time to figure out what's next :)

loves,
marilyn

Marilyn NeoJune 2, 2017Comment